Just another day

I wish I had wrote again yesterday- my mood changed for the better and the rest of my day was actually nice.  Spent time with the family at the pool- not long as our weather took a downward shift!

Today, I’m tired- had a migrane at bed last night which made falling asleep difficult.  Got woken-up way to early and then had to cart the hubby back to work for his 24-hour duty, AGAIN.

So another day alone with my thoughts, the kids screaming, and just wanting to nap- will be doing that later before my meeting tonight.  Gonna try and do some housework and just kind of hang-out today.

Have been finding lot’s of old friends online the past few days- I’m turning into a MySpace junkie too.  Also talked to one of my oldest and closest friends yesterday on the phone- was great to hear her voice actually.  We are hoping to connect this summer while I’m home.

More later…

Kind of angry!

Angry.  That is my general feeling today.  Why, I’m not sure.  Sleep was okay, but woke-up late for an appointment and had to rush around for the first hour I was awake.  Okay, that could be the reason for my being anry.  But it’s more than that.  Everybody around me is driving me nuts.  When the kids ask me for something its over and over and over again – once is enough really; or they ask the same darn questions 10 times, in the same day, really?

Weather is fantastic.  Sun is shinning.  Just wish it was shinning into my head and my words and feelings.  Maybe I need a nap.  Will post more later in hopes that my outlook will have changed.

A New Day

I thought this was such a beautiful expression of how I am feeling today. 

The sun is shining thru my spirit and I feel good.  Waking this morning I knew this was going to be a different day than days past – sleep was full and there was not as much grogginess.  Must mean my body is getting used to the medication, YEAH!

Even the sun was out when my eyes opened; pleaseant suprise since it has been rainy for almost the past week.  Dark, dreary, even cold.  Not my favorite day to have when it’s the middle of June.

Dear Lord, I am so thankful to have awoken today to the beauty that You have created.  My heart and full of You and my spirit is refreshed.  May today bring all that is glorifying to You and I pray that we continue to work closely on delivering me from what has been the darkest years of my life.  You are an awsome God and I know all things are possible thru You!  In your son, Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Where to begin?

I was blog reading today, as I do everyday recently, and it hit me.  I love to blog!  Blogging has brought me more joy and happiness than I’ve felt in a long time.  I already write on two blogs of varying topics, but this one is more on the therapeutic level.

I suffer from depression.  Have been for 1/2 of my life – for those wondering how long that is, its 15 years.  Too long in my mind, but then my mind hasn’t been quite right in many years.

Today is the day.  The beginning.  This is the point where I share my history, my deepest thoughts, daily emotions and frustration, my sadness which has become me.  This is the beginning of recovery, a reclaiming of my once happy self!  Now don’t get me wrong, I have my moments of happiness and joy – I do have children and a husband and of course the Lord (He is eternal happiness), but to say that I am a happy person would be a serious stretch of personal feeling.

My feeling or mood at this time:  moderate sadness, feeling alone, tired, slight headache.